Let me tell you a story about an evil creature named Ed. 

I have been gardening like a fiend. Right and left I have been using toilet paper rolls, egg shells, homemade compost, biodegradable containers, organic soil, organic seeds, manure.. the list goes on and on!!! I mean I’m singing to these babies!! My farmer does not understand why I’m not just planting them in the garden like always! Of corse not.. he’s not a Pinterest mom!!!! They are under a lamp or in natural sunlight and the grow lamp goes on and off with the sun! I have seedlings coming up and it is glorious! I could not wait to blog about my beauties! Then one dreary, rainy morning I went to sing Katy Perry to my lovelies and I found broken egg shells, ripped paper and the dirt looked like a teenage’s room!!! I mean wrecked!! I Kim Kardashian ugly cried! I asked my farmer who in the devil touched  my babies. Who’s ugly mug looked at them? I mean.. they’re in the shop.. it’s not my shop.. on a shelf that’s not mine.. under grow lights that aren’t mine.. being watered from well water that technically isn’t mine… but still!!! I totally tattled to my farmer and said someone is getting fired!!! I don’t care if he has a PhD in Farmology.. he is going to pay for his crime. I have a Pre-Law degree, a bad attitude and given the chance to spritz on a little self tanner I don’t look all that bad in orange!! He is absolutely used to this type of reaction so he followed me out to the crime scene to investigate my level of craziness and decide the proper response.. not too much that I think he’s not taking it seriously.. but not too little that I don’t think he cares.. he looks at it.. and informs me a rat got into it. Now you have to know we don’t just have “rats”.. oh no.. we have RADIOACTIVE PACK RATS. Like 45 pounders. What nightmares are made of. I am furious!!!! I have un-endearingly named him Ed. How Ed’s 75 pound hiney climbed a 4 foot rack I will never know but we will not admit defeat!! We will rebuild!! So we did!!! The next day, Ed’s 122 lbs hiney made the 7 ft trek again and ate my seeds again even though I put a fortress around it!!! Come on!! TomCat, Ramik and I will own you!! Own you and your whole family!! You messed with the Garden Godfather! Now it’s just wet dirt and egg shells. Oh and poision. Invite your friends. 

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